Meeting Kaylee

As we walked into the hospital, I was an internal wreck.  I had butterflies of excitement mingled with a nervousness that were nauseating.  I wanted to run to her room, but was well aware that once we entered, our lives would be forever changed.

Our social worker was suppose to be there for our first meeting with the birthparents, but was unable to make it.  We stopped by the gift store and bought a small pink and white flower arrangement and headed up.  When we got to the birthmom's room, we knocked and entered.  The first thing we saw was birthmom changing the baby's diaper.  That immediately scared me. It made me realize Kaylee had been in their room for 2 days and they were caring for her.  Not that it's a bad thing, it just scared me that they would change their mind when it came down to it.  We stood in the room, flowers in hand, awkwardly waiting to introduce ourselves. The birthfather was wearing a Raiders jacket and Gabe broke the ice about making a comment about being a Bronco fan and some other lighthearted comments regarding the Raiders/Bronco rivalry.  Such a silly way to start our "hellos", but I'm so glad he did.  When the diaper was done, we introduced ourselves to the selfless couple in front of us.  

It was all I could do to contain myself from swooping up the baby girl in front of me.  I think I asked how everyone was feeling/doing, and asked permission to hold her.  I lifted her up and sat in a chair and it was so surreal.  I've held babies before, but none have left me in such awe as her.  She was sooooo pretty!  Adopting, you never know what kind of a kid you will get.  And lets all be honest, there are some pretty ugly babies in the world.  But not her.  Adorable and perfect!

While I held her, we talked with the birthparents.  We let them know we were nervous to talk to them and I think that helped.  The first question they had was for Gabe: they knew he was a marine and were concerned he would be a stereotypical marine: harsh, disciplined, and cold.  We assured them nothing could be further from the truth.  They let us know they had named her Melody Andrea, but we could change it if we wanted. We asked about the delivery.  Come to find out, they didn't know they were pregnant until the beginning of February, and they hadn't had any doctor appointments.  So when she went into labor, they went to a close hospital.  But the hospital didn't do deliveries, so they took her by ambulance to a 2nd hospital, birth dad frantically following in his car. Birth mom had a epidural and 4 pushes later Kaylee entered the world.

I asked if Gabe wanted to hold her, and he got such a big grin.  He was a little nervous but once she was in his arms, he was a goner.  We continued to talk to the birthparents and I was amazed at the ease of our ability to connect with them.  And in our conversations, I lost all nervousness that they would change their mind.  It was obvious they loved her, but were firm in their decision.  When our social worker had visited them the day before, she told them we had had a reclaim before, so she wanted them to be firm.  They were curious about that, and I think they cared enough about us that they didn't want to do that to us.  So who knows, maybe hearing we had a reclaim helped with their solidarity.

About this time, I asked Gabe if I could hold her again.  A big, long pause....he didn't want to share her!  Haha!

After about 30 minutes, a nurse came in and said it was time to discharge Kaylee.  We stepped out so the birthparents could say their goodbyes.  That was awkward again.  But when the nurse brought the baby out, we went back in to give them hugs (wasn't sure if we'd see them again for a while) and I promised the birthmom that I would love and protect her baby.  Lots of tears, but I felt like they needed love and hugs in that moment.

After that, we went to the nursery for discharge instructions.  The foster mom was there to hear them too. After getting our instructions, she gave us her information and invited us to come to her house to spend time with Kaylee.  She let Gabe carry Kaylee out to the car.  Such a proud papa!  Just watching him, my heart grew more in love with this complicated, strong and tender man.

First Family Photo

When we got back in the car, we decided it was time to call Gabe's parents.  Up to this point, only a handful of friend's and my mom and sister knew, and Gabe had made a decision that nothing went online until papers were signed.  I let Gabe choose when he wanted to tell his parents.  Since he was so nervous about this opportunity falling through, and since he has such a big family, he wanted to wait until papers were signed.  BUT, his excitement got the better of him and he decided to tell them then sooner.  He had already talked to his sister, and the plan was to facetime her and have our  5 yr old niece take the phone to Gabe's parents and announce we had a baby.  Well, she took off  with the news, but forgot the phone.  Haha.  So we didn't get to see their faced, but we heard their cries of excitement and disbelief.  What a special moment.

As much as wanted to race to the foster mom's house, but we decided we needed to eat first.  We pulled into an In-n-Out.  I wanted to use the drive thru, but Gabe insisted we go inside and take a deep breath, take our time eating.  Longest meal of my life!!  But I used the break to text pictures to all our friends/family "in the know."

It was about a 30 minute drive to the foster mom's house.  What a blessing to have her!  Such a Godly, Christian woman.  She let us be parents, she didn't try to tell us what to do or how to do things.  She answered questions if we asked, and while she stayed in the house, she would go to other rooms to give us privacy.  We got to change diapers, do our first feeding, and just love on our baby girl. We stayed there for a few hours, and then Gabe felt we should leave (they were starting dinner) and go settle in at the hotel.  I did NOT want to leave, and I was amazed at how my heart and emotions were already attached to a baby I had met 6 hours earlier.

We knew we needed sleep because the next day (Friday) would be full as it was paper signing day.  I had confidence, but until rights were terminated, there was still apprehension in our hearts.
So we went back to the hotel, ate our last dinner as a couple, and tried to sleep.