We headed to Burger King for a quick bite, and the foster mom met us there with Kaylee. We piled in her car (both in the backseat) and we headed to Kaylee's first doctor's appointment. That was a first for us. In my daydreaming about our future family, doctor's appointment daydreams were overlooked. When we checked in, we told them our story of being adoptive parents. They didn't care what her legal name was at the moment, they wanted us to put down what we wanted her to be called. So filling out the doctor forms was the first time I got to write her name down.
The appointment was quick. The foster mom went in with us and was able to answer questions about her eating and sleeping habits the previous night. There was 2 doctors that came in, one practiced doctor and one that seemed like a student. Surprisingly, I wasn't too worried about the doctor who was moving Kaylee all around and checking her out; I was focused on answering questions, asking questions, and taking in any and all information I could. When we checked out, the receipt had Kaylee's name on it. There it was, printed on paper: Kaylee Honsberger. That was a big moment for me, it made it real.
After the appointment, we dropped Gabe off at our car, and I went with the foster mom to her house. Gabe followed us and we spent the whole day at their house with Kaylee. The foster family is amazing and we enjoyed hanging out with them, talking story.
Before lunch, I had to run out to a postal annex that had a business center to print important papers and mail some checks so everything would go smoothly that night with the paper signing. I left Kaylee with Gabe and the foster family. While I was gone, the foster mom left for a funeral and the foster dad went to go take a nap. So Gabe is alone with Kaylee. Well, my errand was taking longer than anticipated. Gabe called me to remind me Kaylee needed to eat at 1:30 (he is very strict about having a consistent schedule) and he didn't know how to make a bottle. I assured him I would be home before she needed to eat, but if not, he could call and I would walk him through it. I hung up the phone and contemplated purposely waiting so he would have to learn without a safety net. But I decided that was mean. I headed to pick up lunch, but after picking it up my GPS decided to have issues and I got severely lost. So, it was closer to 2pm before I got back to the house. I hoped the door, Gabe was there and all he said was "She peed on me." Apparently while I was out, she had a complete meltdown, Gabe made her a bottle, and mid feeding she peed. And the diaper (that I had done) came undone and soaked Gabe. HAHA!! I was so proud of my girl for initiating her daddy so well.
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| Done with diaper change, now for funny faces |
We continued to hang out at the foster house. They brought a tri-tip home for dinner and Gabe grilled it and we all had dinner together. This family has such a unique way of making us feel comfortable and at home, that by dinner time, I had almost forgotten we were signing papers that night and my nervousness was mostly subsided.
After dinner, we left Kaylee and headed to our hotel room to grab a few documents and then we went downtown to our meeting place and just waited. It was late at night and the building was locked. We were super nervous. Gabe was nervous we would have a run-in with the birthparents which would be awkward. I was waiting for a phone call to say that last minute, the birthparents had changed their mind. Then my phone rang and my heart stopped. It was our social worker and she said the birthparents were done signing papers and her husband would come downstairs to let us in. Such a wave of relief swept over me: they had signed the papers. It was a done deal. Thank-you Jesus!!
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| Kaylee with Teddy from Birthparents |
As we got out of the car and headed to the door, we saw the birthparent coming out. It was so awkward. Here I stand in front of them, aware that they just gave their baby up for adoption. I'm dancing with excitement on the inside, but I don't want to show that to them in their hurting state. Gabe didn't want to talk to them, but I didn't want to give them the cold shoulder and ignore them, especially when we had committed to staying in contact with them. So we talked to them for a bit. They wanted to let us know they had left a teddy bear upstairs for her (that just melted my heart. I loved that they got her something tangible). Then, the birthfather asked if we wanted to have lunch the following day. We must have looked like deer in the headlights! It was so unexpected! Before Gabe could brush them off, I let them know the foster family had invited us to an event (a basketball game which I wasn't sure I wanted to take a newborn to), but we were unsure when it was and we would get back with them about meeting. But I'd email and let them know. Gabe wasn't super happy about my answer but he let it go.
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| Official custody! |
We went upstairs with our social worker's husband, Joe. Sweet man. Made it to the 8th floor and was ushered into a very legal looking office and back to a conference room. There, we meet Dee our social worker. She made everything so stress free. I think the relief of knowing the birthparents part was over helped too. We had to sign 2 copies of several documents. Lots of papers to sign. Strangely, I was more nervous when we bought our house than I was signing papers to gain a child. But less than 30 minutes later, we signed our last paper: one acknowledging we had custody of Kaylee. When we were done, Gabe said "now she's my daughter." That moment was so special. No more fear. Just a hopeful future. And for Gabe, it was a moment where he could let his guard down. He could call her Kaylee. He could give himself permission to bond. So special.
After the papers were signed, we went downstairs with Dee and Joe. We ended up talking with them outside for about an hour. They look like they are in their 50's, but must be in their 70's because they have 10 kids (oldest is 50), 27 grandchildren, and 13 great-grandchildren (oldest is 13). They have lots of military connections in their family and their eldest just retired from the Army where he had such a high rank Gabe was impressed. In a way, it was nice to share that moment with someone else, and also talk about things other than the adoption. I'm so thankful for another Christian connection God placed in this situation.
As we walked to the car, I was squealing I was so excited. Yes, squealing. Gabe had the biggest grin. We just couldn't believe it. I turned to Gabe and asked, "Can I finally announce it?!?" and he gave me permission. That was such an exciting moment. Up until that moment, only a few people knew. Up until that moment, we were fearful of losing her and this opportunity. But it melted away and a sense of calm was around us. I told Gabe later, it felt like we have been climbing a mountain for so long, and we just got to the top where we could take a deep breath and just breathe. But it was also a moment of realizing we had gained what we had been looking for for so long....in a moment it was done. Longing was gone. Daydreaming was done. I don't know how to describe that feeling. Just a sense of finality. And all the heartaches (or "labor pains") were forgotten. And a small sense of now what?
When we got back to the foster family to pick up Kaylee, we could hear her screaming before we reached the door. Went inside and apparently she had 3 poopy diapers in the 3 hours were were gone (don't worry, we got 3 more later that night....kid was on a cleanse or something I picked her up and she instantly settled down. We were so excited to take her with us. Kinda weird driving with a baby in the back.
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| First night with Daddy |
We got to the hotel and as soon as we entered our room, Kaylee started screaming. She had only eaten less than 2 hours before and we couldn't get her to settle down. It took us awhile to get her settled down. I was getting a little stressed out because I was aware that other rooms could probably hear her. Gabe stepped up and took charge of settling her down. As I got ready for bed, he sat down with her and I heard him say "I love you" for the first time. He was immediately wrapped around her finger. All night, every time she made a rustle or shifted in her play pen, Gabe was up and at her side. Adorable. It was such a perfect day, but we were glad it was over and could finally sleep....in 3 hour shifts.
*While we have custody of Kaylee, the adoption won't be finalized for 6 months or so.*
Such a sweet picture to go with a sweet story!! God is good!
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