First Weekend as a Family of Three

Our first weekend as a family of three was busy!

On Saturday we met Kaylee's birthparents for lunch.  We were nervous to spend more time with them.  It was more of a nervous about it being awkward.  They had already terminated their rights, so the "threat" of them changing their mind was gone, but how do you start a conversation in a situation like this?  We met at Mimi's cafe.  I am still amazed at what a good time we had.  In fact, surprisingly, Kaylee wasn't the basis of most of our conversations. It was like we were 2 couples getting to know each other, not two different types of parents connected by one little girl.  We did small talk, we asked and answered questions, we laughed and joked.  I was continually amazed at how similar we are!  For example, both Gabe and birthfather don't like onions, in fact it's the only thing they won't eat.  The birthmother and I like the same type of tv shows which are crime stories, but we both have to watch them when our significant other isn't around because they don't like us watching them. Just little things like that. It was just an easy meeting.  At no time did I feel there was a turf war and I didn't feel threatened in my new role of Kaylee's mom. They didn't come in telling us how to plan her future.  They were very respectful and acknowledged our role as Kaylee's parents. And while they seemed emotionally subdued, they had a maturity beyond their years in this situation. 

At the end of lunch, we asked the waitress to take a photo of all of us together.  It was important to me that Kaylee know what her birthparents look like, but also to see that we got along and all love her.  Then, to our surprise, they asked if we needed any baby items and if we wanted to go to babies r us which was just around the corner.  We did have a small list, so we all went shopping together! Gabe was determined he could find puppy pads for babies.  I thought he was crazy but low and behold, he found what he was looking for: disposable changing paper.  I thought it was unnecessary, but we got some and it has since saved my bacon more than once.  It was a little weird shopping for Kaylee with her birthparents with us.  I think I felt as if I had to include them in my shopping decisions: what bibs did they like, what did they think of this or that.  Probably just me trying to make the situation not awkward. But they didn't voice any options even when asked. They let me make the choices over which bibs and socks to get. I felt they were very intentional about taking a step back.  They want to be connected to Kaylee, but more on the sidelines than spotlight.

Overall, it was a interesting, yet good day.  I think it helped Gabe get more comfortable with the idea of actually having an open adoption and what it would be like. I genuinely like this couple and enjoyed our time getting to know each other better. I hope that our future contact will be as easy and relaxed.  It once again put my mind at ease that they were confident with their decision and I don't need to be scared they would change their minds.  They are very sweet and I think they are the most selfless people I know.

On Sunday, we went back to the foster family in the morning.  A gracious friend took the liberty of finding a photographer in the Reno area that was willing to do newborn photos on short notice.  And the foster family opened up their home to us so we could take photos in a home environment with good lighting.

I think purple is her color

My beautiful girl

The photographer was amazing.  She was about our age and a mother of 3 boys!  She took charge of Kaylee...posing her, soothing her....I just sat back and watched.  It was an interesting time.  The photographer wanted her naked so she could pose her cute.  Well, first the photographer spent some time trying to get Kaylee to sleep.  In the process, Kaylee pooped all over her blanket.  So we cleaned her up.  Then, we got her posed but Kaylee wouldn't go to sleep.  Then she peed on that set up.  Since she wasn't sleeping, we scratched that idea and did lots of swaddled shots.  We got just about done, and she peed again! Thankfully, our photographer didn't mind and came expecting a few accidents.

As the photographer took photos, I just watched.  I had a moment where things hit home.  I realized I would be watching her in so many moments, moments that I wouldn't be interacting with her, but just watching. Gymnastics, t-ball, piano recitals. It was the moment that brought tears to my eyes.  We are so completely in love with our Kaylee Rose, and are looking forward to seeing the little girl she becomes.