17 Things I've Learned Since Becoming a Mom

I have been a mom for about 5 1/2 weeks now.  It seems like forever since we flew to Nevada, and yet it seems like no time at all. Just this past week, she's started to change....filling out in baby rolls, noticeably denser, increase in appetite, and we are about to graduate to size 1 diapers! I've learned so much in that time.  And had lots of funny moments learning too.  So below is my list for new moms to learn from, and seasoned moms to laugh at.

1) Sleep in an unnecessary part of life.  And don't let the first 2 weeks fool you.  During Kaylee's first 2 weeks of life, she slept 3-5 hours at night.  Flash forward to almost 6 weeks and she wants a bottle every 2.5 hours. If you calculate half an hour to make and feed the bottle, change her diaper, and 15 minutes to burp and cuddle her, we only get maybe 2 hours of sleep at a time. So basically we are living on naps. And I would say we are highly functioning.  I'm working 2 mornings a week and Gabe ran a 6 mile race today. Our laundry gets done as do our dishes (lets not talk about other areas of the house). We are highly social and don't go to bed earlier than our life before Kaylee. All without naps during the day. Sleep is overrated.

1a) Everyone you meet is interested in your sleep life. It's one of the top 3 questions I get "how much does she sleep?" aka how much is she allowing you to sleep. I don't know if strangers get a dark pleasure in picturing you exhausted with red eyes and matted hair in the middle of the night trying to soothe a fussy baby. Or maybe its a silent mental competition in which they can say "my baby slept better" in their mind. *note: when your friends ask the same question, it's said with care and concern.  Be honest and let them help if you need it.

2) I have the best, smartest, and most beautiful baby in the whole world.  Yes, I am one of those annoying people.  My baby has the most open, alert eyes and her face is so animated and expressive, which has to mean she must be smart, right? I mean, I would swear she can say (ok, more of a grunt) "hi" when she wakes  up in the morning and sees me. She is going to be a genius, I can tell already, ahead of the curve on so many things.  During tummy time, she's already showing the early signs of crawling. And she already looks like she has some teeth that will come in soon.

2a) I've caught myself mass texting pictures of Kaylee to everyone I know.  At first people were begging for photos, excited for this new baby...now not so much. I did it without thinking for so long, but now I have to curb my "look at my adorable baby" moments so I still have friends left in a few months.  *If you want to be added to my 'newsletter', let me know haha

3) Always be in charge of the diaper bag. Know the saying, if you want it done right do it yourself? Well, modify that and say, if you want to be assured the diaper bag makes it to the car, take it yourself. Yes, the is a story behind this one.  Gabe wanted to take me out to cheesecake factory (and i had free cheesecake coupons that expired that day) so we loaded up and drove down to Waikiki, a 30-45 minute drive to the most crowded 10 blocks in the world.  Upon parking I asked where he put the diaper bag.  He said he thought I grabbed it. After checking the entire car to confirm my thoughtfully packed bag was still on a chair at home, we looked at each other. Our eyes asked each other if we should risk it, and in unison our daring looks turned to disappointment knowing we didn't want to face the wrath of a baby mid-meal an hour from home. So I went to go get our free cheesecake and we headed home. No wrath to be had, but there was a nasty diaper as soon as we walked in.

3a) You days of living on the edge are over. Refer to point #3
3b) Keep back up baby necessitates in the car. Refer to point #3

4) When you change a diaper and your spouse gets a blow out on the next diaper, you will be treated like a traitor and your motives are called into question. And the won't believe it was out of your control or unintentional...you sabotaged them on purpose!

5) There is always one more burp.  Kaylee seems like a gassy baby.  We don't have anything else to compare her to, so it might not be as bad.  But we burp and burp her.  I can burp her for 20 minutes and there will always be a hidden one there that works itself up and needs assistance to come about about the time I drift to sleep.

5a) When babies spit up, they smile.  The smile is most likely a reaction to your face.  And then they pass out, dead asleep, leaving you to clean up their mess.
5b) Baby sneezes after eating often contain spit up.  Enough said.

6) I thought having a girl would mean we get to skip the dirty stage.  Not so. This kid is the messiest eater I have ever seen.  It just drips out the corners of her mouth, down her chin, and runs around her neck if we don't stop it. Cleaning up with a wet wipe or sponge bath doesn't cut it, she gets baths regularly...but thankfully she loves them.

6a) Bibs are our best friend.  And we can't seem to keep them in stock. *note, if anyone tells you not to take a bib when you go pick up (or deliver) your newborn, take one anyways.  If you don't, your kid will probably be an outrageous pig while eating.

7) Babies have an amazing sense of timing. Even with Kaylee's tummy nice and full, she can smell real food a mile away. The timer on the microwave will wake Kaylee up every time, even from upstairs.

8) Don't forget to explain to your husband the baby knowledge you have, even the tidbits you think are obvious.  Case and point, my poor husband had Kaylee on his knee doing the MC Hammer "You Can't Touch This" dance after eating.  I didn't tell him you don't jiggle a baby after eating, I thought he knew and was living on the dangerous side. Nope, and he got the biggest case of spit up yet. While I captured it all on camera for my personal entertainment, the moment might have ended differently had I shared my common baby knowledge with him.

8a) Once you share the baby tidbits about swaddling, your husband will overnight become a pro and put your swaddling skills to shame.

9) Your instincts kick in. I'll be honest, I didn't read but maybe one baby book (in 2014) and I haven't been online or on pinterest much.  But I haven't felt I really needed to.  As my sister said, people have been raising children for thousands of years and I can't do any worse than them. When we first got to the foster mom's house and really got to be with Kaylee, the knowledge that no one else was going to change her diaper, make her bottle, get up in the middle of the night, it threw me into momma mode and the instincts followed.

9a) I'm not the nervous-nilly I thought I would be. Hooray! I think when the instincts kicked in, I calmed down and a side of me I wasn't expecting came out.   I'm normally high strung, not very trusting of others, and have to be in control of every situation. But I'm not worried about other people holding Kaylee (but we only have a small circle of people in our lives in Hawaii), I'm not worried about little kids holding her on the couch, her cries don't turn me into a panicked crazy bottle maker...in fact I can tune her out a little in the car.  When she was first born, I wasn't one to check on her for no reason in the middle of the night.  No, that was Dad.  My calm husband traded me for the nervous nilly title, which I think is kinda sweet to see him so worried and protective over Kaylee.  If the dog sneezes on Kaylee, I'm like "eh, he will be eating food out of her hand at some point and she'll use that hand to feed herself.  Can't protect her all the time." Gabe on the other hand, would kick the dog outside and baptize the baby with disinfectant.


10) Mornings are my favorite part of the day.  Kaylee sleeps well at night and doesn't need entertaining in the middle of the night to go back to bed.  However, around her 6 am feeding, she is awake for over an hour after being fed.  I love this time with her.  Our room is still partly dark, and her eyes look so big! It's our time to just stare at each other and give each other our full attention.  It's the time of day she is most content and is just chilling with me.

11) Facetime with the grandparents is the most humorous thing you will ever see. I'm amazed at the baby talk that comes from the hard nosed people that used to discipline us. The turn to jello and their conversations with Kaylee warm my heart as well as make me die laughing inside. But I'm so thankful they want to be apart of her life.

12) Having a baby is never what you expect. A friend told me this week (regarding a job), that it is never what you expect so be prepared for that, whether it's better or worse than you imagined.  I think you can apply that to parenting.  It's not what I expected, but that doesn't mean it's better or worse.  It's just not what I expected (in some areas).  I wasn't expecting to find it hard to leave Kaylee at the foster home after only 4 hours with her.  I wasn't expecting to bond with her so easily, and I sure wasn't expecting to feel her bond with me (at 5 weeks she is tracking me with her eyes and I love it!). I thought I would have more time to do housework for the first few months because I expected her to sleep more. I also didn't expect the number of bottles or diapers I go through in a day.  But it doesn't mean the time with her is any less special changing a diaper or washing a bottle.

13) Sometime seasoned moms aren't always right, take all advice with a grain of salt and follow your gut.  I've had good and bad advice (although mostly good), but I have to measure that advice against what works for Kaylee. *note, if anyone tells you not to take a bib when you go pick up (or deliver) your newborn, take one anyways.  If you don't, your kid will probably be an outrageous pig while eating. Refer to point #6.

14) When you have kids, your un-opinionated husband all of a sudden has opinions.  He even has an opinion on which diapers he likes better.  He thinks babies don't need clothes until they are 1 (He rolls his eyes at every cute outfit I put Kaylee in and wonders out loud as to why people keep sending us cute clothes...he is more of sleeper guy because it has a zipper and is easy to put on).

15) I married a rockstar. I always knew this but had only seen him in his husband role.  And while I always knew he would be a good dad, he has taken his father role and run with it.  He doesn't shy away from anything (except maybe a really rank diaper, but he will do it).  He has been home the past 3 weeks since Kaylee and I returned from Nevada.  Since then, we switch off nights and I think he has done more nights than me.  He watches Kaylee when I need to run out or go to work. He makes bottles, plays with Kaylee, reads her books, and is the master burper.  He runs errands (and always seems to come home with baby items), cleans the  house, the list goes on. In many ways, I think he is the better parent. And I haven't heard him complain once.  I am forever grateful that he gives Kaylee (and me) his attention when he is at home.  He doesn't have anything that is more important than us in his life.  There are no video game distractions, parties to go to, etc.  He is invested and focused on his family. *Love you Gabe! I couldn't do this, or want to do this, without you on my team.

16) Your relationship with your spouse changes.  But it's not a bad thing, its just different. We have waaaaay more humor in our lives.  We laugh at Kaylee, at ourselves. Maybe its the lack of sleep or insanity of being in the house so much, but we entertain ourselves with a 8lb baby and the humorous moments in being first time parents.  For example, I have created a game in which Gabe participates unwittingly.  When Kaylee poops, if I know he will be home in a few minutes, I wait and try to trick him into daddy/daughter time before he can smell anything.  Usually I pass her to him and say, "oh you may want to check her diaper on your way upstairs." Then I just wait.....his reactions never disappoint.  We have something to talk about in the evenings that isn't work related. Our time together has to be planned so dates are more intentional and thought out. And I think seeing your spouse love on your child, it makes you love them on a whole new level. After all, you both have this beautiful baby that you both love unconditionally....if that doesn't connect you in a new way, I'm not sure what will.

17) I don't try to be a perfect mom. A baby is a neon flashing sign that says "You Have Alot to Learn." As much as you think you are put together, you're still not going to have it right all the time.  I know I won't be a perfect mom, and I'm ok with that.  I was lucky enough to have an ah-ha moment and realize perfection was unattainable and striving for it would just frustrate me, which would end up affecting Kaylee. I'm just trying to make sure Kaylee has all her needs met and is loved on. Sometimes I can't figure out what she wants and Gabe walks in the door and solves the issue right away (aren't moms suppose to get that stuff easier than dads?). Moments like that are humbling and make me question if I'm doing something wrong.  I have to let those moments go and just do what I can.  She's fed, changed, and held.  That's all she needs right now.  As she grows, I'll grow in my parenting.  We'll grow in life together.